words MARY-KATE MORONEY
art IMOGEN BANKS
“Don’t waste time sucking your thumb when you could be out having your fun,” Dan Savage offered to a packed audience of UO students on November 1. The Ford Alumni Center echoed with the questions of sexually concerned young adults ranging from “What’s the status quo for female pubic hair?” to “Sex with unicorns: magical?” To the latter, Savage casually responded, “Yes,” and moved on to the next question. Despite a brief interruption by a glitter-throwing Savage-hater sweeping the stage and shouting something about transphobia, the Q&A with the acclaimed sex advice columnist had students nodding in agreement between prolonged effusions of laughter. Individuals of all sexual orientations were in attendance, each equipped with questions about how to please, how to tease, and how not to queef.
Savage, whose column “Savage Love” is featured in Eugene Weekly, recently toured 12 universities around the country for a new late-night MTV show titled “Savage U.” How this exhibit fits under the “Music Television” agenda remains a mystery, but viewers can count on being entertained at the very least. So, Mr. Savage, my boyfriend is okay with my vaginal farts, but how do I make them stop? “Well, if he doesn’t care,” Savage replied, “I would simply advise you to count your blessings, and your queefs.”