Why are men so dependent on internet porn? Or… on porn in general?
Why He Yankin’?
Though I am not sure if this was your original intent, WHY, your carefully placed ellipses lead me to break it down by category of pornography outlet — this will better aid you in your ‘pornderings.’
The first type of porno-dependant enjoys himself through the classic magazine. Don’t get me wrong. Paper smut of today hardly resembles the vintage Playboys of old, which targeted the Don Drapers of the world with tasteful cigarette ads and stylishly hidden lower regions. However, modern dirty mag lovers still relish in peeling back that black plastic wrap to reveal the gloss-printed booties within. Whether it’s the throwback factor or the transportability that draws them, this form is reserved for the meticulous “professional” in the world of self-pleasure, and to a large degree it’s pride that drives dependency. And horniness.
DVDs are another story entirely. These puppies are expensive, running as much as 40 bones at your local mall’s Suncoast. Indulgers of this type generally fall into the categories “lonely, sweaty businessman,” “Dad who shares the family DELL,” or “porno aficionado/film critic.” What this entire caste of viewers share is a special pornographic darkness, hinging on forgetting an awesomely lame existence. On a side note, VHS porn viewers are out there. They resemble vinyl snobs in their quickness to scoff at your Pamela DVD because it “doesn’t have that scratchy sound.”
Finally, to answer the initial question — internet porn: You know, homie, sometimes fools just gotta get dat nut.
What’s preferable in girls, makeup or no makeup?
-Frustrated About Cosmetic Expectations
It can be increasingly frustrating when this question is too easily boiled down to So-Cal Beezies vs. Granola-Birk Earthies. In reality it’s much more situational. I do have a final and definite answer, but first the analysis:
It’s wrong to cast off the makeup lovers too soon, calling them fake or accusing them of fueling the rape and pillage of Gaia’s cute and fluffy animals. It’s a matter of quality over quantity — keep it tasteful, and things won’t go awry. For example, pushing the limits can be edgy, but the second that something like white lip gloss is thrown in the mix, deal’s off, beezy. Just like the two girls affectionately and aptly deemed “the jizz lips twins” throughout my middle and high school careers, an overly made-up you is destined for persistent berating and semen jokes.
I find that no makeup on the whole is a pretty chill move. Ladies who realize they have a pretty face without additives are generally right for the most part, therefore negating the possibility that whatever is on their face is bothersome. Also, I feel that Drake’s “You Da Best” really speaks to me and many other men on this issue: “Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on. That’s when you the prettiest.” Ultimately, FACE, makeup is professional, understandable, enjoyable, and chill a great deal of time, but Drake knows where the true love at.
I like this boy (a ginger too) and we have been having a thing for a while and I’m ready to commit. How should I do this?
-Been Fucking Ginger Frequently
In light of your predicament, it’s vital that the application of ginger-specific tips comes into play. First of all you need to understand that “committing” to anything is hardly instantaneous, especially in such a delicate and complicated matter as a “thing.” I suggest continuing with the current procedure, yet gradually adding a more romantic edge to the relationship. Start providing more one-on-one opportunities, avoiding long exposure to the sun at all costs. However, nothing throws a firecrotch more deeply in love than the sensual application of Bullfrog brand sunscreen at a picnic. If you keep playing your cards right, using the charm that has already brought you this far, the “thing” to “commitment” transition will complete without you even knowing. It certainly sounds like your heart’s in the right gingery place, BFGF. But beware: He may have an enormous, loud, alcoholic (Catholic) family with parents using wine and hummus to cope with the stress of having ten or more red-headed beast-children.