Hardware Store Crawl

The first and last annual OV Hardware Store Crawl was a success in that we rented a UO van. It was a failure in that it got really boring after a while

photos ALLISON FONDER

LOWE’S

words LUCY OHLSEN

Lowe’s was the first stop on our crawl. After gearing up on candy canes and bumpin’ some Beethoven in the Safeway parking lot, the official OV van barreled down West 11th, leaking smoke out of the window cracks as it went. Lowe’s was not the high point of our crawl, but we should have known that by the name of the store. We tried on toolbelts, tested bath tubs, put on Christmas decorations, and were surprisingly asked if we needed any help. Lowe’s probably has everything that you need, but it lacks that spunk of a hardware store that makes hardware shopping fun.

CARSON SAW SHOP

words BEN MCPHERSON FICKLIN

Carson Saw Shop is exactly as advertised; they specialize only in saws. They sharpen blades as small as knives (for only $2.50 a knife) and as large as lawnmower blades. If it’s supposed to be sharp they will make sure it is. The building was constructed in 1911, and everything in the store reflects its old age. As the OV outfit took a look around, the head honcho, Dale, who’s daddy founded the place, explained all the memorabilia on the wall: sepia-toned photos, trays of nails and screws, clippings from newspaper, a huge mounted bass head, and hardware that looks more like it should be in a museum than an operating business. The Saw Shop’s yard is still reminiscent of its past; a dilapidated old milking barn and still-producing fruit trees share the lot. It’s easy to picture in rural Eugene, the only building for miles.

COASTAL FARM AND RANCH

words LUCY OLSEN

Coastal Farm and Ranch. They offer “just what the country needs, and then some.” And they’re not lying. It’s a hardware store for the whole family.

Their selection of tools and wood and shit is extensive, and it rightly takes up at least half of the floorspace. To attract a more diverse crowd of builders, however, Coastal also offers an impressive selection of clothing — flannel plaids, overalls, John Deere t-shirts, battery-heated socks, and your basic Levi and Carhart apparel. If clothing and tools aren’t up your alley, you’ve got several other options left. There are aisles dedicated to livestock feed and equipment (lots of jars of dead worms and vitamin supplements for healthy goat development), equestrian gear (including stylish saddles), and there’s even a (mostly farm-themed) toy section. There’s a nice nook of gardening essentials and (occasionally garish) decorations. Almost an entire wall is occupied by buckets of various size, material and color. They also have the best tool belt selection in Eugene, starting with a pretty sturdy-looking black one at $9.99.

In a turbulent world, Coastal is a place of reassurance. Not only would it be an ideal place to be when the apocalypse happens, but while the apocalypse isn’t happening, they are committed to serving the hardworking people of the world. They comfortingly assure their customers, “We’ll be here. Today. And Every day.”

TRUE VALUE

words MARGARET APPEL

Ain’t no lie; this value’s straight truth. Voicers painstakingly crawled straight into our final stop at what is perhaps Eugene’s finest and most entertaining hardware haven. True Value features the obvious array of tools and project necessities, but ultimately it serves as the ideal spot for a stoner dad to entertain himself on a Saturday afternoon. The household necessities and cooking gadgets section is a delight to wander through pondering things you might need at some point, and hidden against the back wall you’ll find large rolls of dope-ass wrapping paper to be purchased by the foot. The customer service was present but not invasive, and T-Val also features an inspiring discount section full of crap you’d never buy otherwise. The most enjoyable aspect of the store by far was the wall of paint sample palates with shade names ranging anywhere from “Indifference” to “Warm Shawl.”

BELL HARDWARE

Not actually a hardware store. They are a supplier of commercial grade-doors. Total disappointment. After this discovery, morale was lowered.

HEINKE ELECTRICAL

words NOAH DEWITT

After scoping the cutlery at Carson Saw Shop, it would have made perfect to sense to stop at Heinke Electrical and Lighting, the hardware hookup for all things electrical located right across Blaire Boulevard. We meant to check it out, but for some reason — maybe the post-candy cane sugar crash — neglected to. On a solo visit days later, I roamed the shop and checked out their stock of heaters, lights bulbs, circuits, wires, and switches. It’s the kind of store I want to give my business to; everyone who works there has the last name Heinke, it has been around for 60 years, and it pedals equipment that will last you a lifetime. But giving the Heinkes my business wasn’t easy. From their super-specialized inventory, the only thing I could find that I actually had use for was a roll of masking tape. Support local businesses and buy your masking tape at Heinke Electrical.