Journalists love to tell stories. I can’t remember the last time the Daily Emerald told one that was truly engaging, though this morning’s bold, red headline sucked me in: EMERALD NEWS STAFF STRIKES. ASUO sandbox politics were getting boring, I guess, so the reporters made their own scandal. They put off the strike until this morning so they could make news about it, as in, “I’m going to give you the silent treatment starting…right… NOW.”
Of course, the buzz started long before the headline. The photographers, who are total anarchists, let the cat out of the bag yesterday, and the cat slinked away into the night. Pretty soon people were talking about it in places where people should never talk about the Daily Emerald, ie the Lorax.
This morning I sat in Roma with then intention of telling an actual story. I had my notebook and latte all set up on the table, and I strategically threw my jacket on the opposing seat to ward off conversationalists. I was quickly distracted, however, when Emerald staff reporters Hannah Hoffman and Lauren Fox sat down two tables adjacent to mine. They had their firey headline on display, and they were all smiles, apparently not as desperate to return to work as their front page diatribe suggested: “We want desperately to return to work, but we cannot do so quietly and against our journalistic values.”
“Secretly,” said Hoffman, “I’m really glad that I have to write two less articles this week.”
Secretly? My friend, you are in a crowded coffee shop, in the presence of other semi-journalists.
Fox’s eyes bulged a little. “Is it wrong that I’m happy right now?”
I am, so why shouldn’t you be?
Fox was trying to do her homework, but she was too lathered up. And I was too busy eavesdropping… Not eavesdropping, exactly, since I moved over to the table next to them and bluntly asked Fox for her full name.
“We should have picketers!” she continued. “Every good strike has picketers.”
They started to discuss the possibility of the Register Guard covering the strike, or maybe even–gasp– the New York Times. I imagined the “Daily Emerald Staff Strike” headline underneath the one about suicide bombings in Pakistan.
“You know who wants to know about this?” said Fox. “Anne Curry.” She then proceeded to call another staffer (lets call him “Robert,” because that was his name) and rant about the possibility of notifying Anne Curry about the strike.
“You should call them! And if the Today Show needs someone to talk to, I’d be totally willing!”
Eventually, Fox and Hoffman expressed mild concern about the possibility of losing their jobs. They didn’t seem too worried, though. Even Fox’s somewhat conservative sorority sisters have assured her that no one would have the nerve to work for the Daily Emerald under the leadership of Steven Smith.
She’s right that no one wants to be a scab for the Daily Emerald. In fact, we were all secretly on strike already, and the current staff was all scabbed over until this morning. The ODE kids created the story, but they have no control over how the rest of us retell it.
In honor of this youtube gem, I am rewriting Asimov’s three laws of robotics.
First law: hit dat toaster
Second law: make em dance
Third law: shake it
While perusing the Prelinger Archives I discovered this little gem. I tried to find words to describe it but I really couldn’t. You’ll just have to watch it for yourself and see what I mean (I mean, like, really?) When you’re done check out the rest of the site, it has a lot to offer.
But really, see a doctor.
Twilight is now showing at the $1.50 theater. The venue should be dark and deserted, kids. Perfect if you are looking to get it on with your vampire boyfriend.
How’s it going, Voice enthusiasts?
After some website issues, some printing issues, and some personal issues (because we’re all sooooo emo….wait, should I be admitting this?), the Oregon Voice brings you our second-to-last issue of this school year. Copy editor and all-around rad chick Katy Wolf brings us an interview with Greg Saunier of Deerhoof, myself and photo editor Naima Muntal battle it out over what makes a good dance party, and pacifists take the brunt of my unholy wrath as our asshole of the month (no hard feelings, right guys? I mean, our last asshole was children…) Check it out online, or please do visit one of our colorful (or not so colorful) boxes in and around the UO campus.
On April 20th (yes, that’s 4/20), the Oregon Voice will host a dance party fundraiser at the Campbell Club to raise funds for the printing of what we hope will be a 40-page mega issue with which we’ll usher in the end of this school year. The Mood and the Rockbottom Scoundrels, as well as DJ Jimbo of KWVA fame, will entertain us, and your entry ticket will earn you a chance to win one of many nifty prizes including some of our favorite CDs, books and OV tee shirts. For a mere three dollars, you can help us print our last issue and join us for some down and dirty booty shakin’.
Also, the Oregon Voice is in a state of transition (translation: we’re all graduating) which means we’re hiring for all of these administrative positions for the 2007-2008 academic year; two are paid, while the rest will give you awesome experience and proverbial resume cap feathers:
Editor-In-Chief (paid)
Publisher (paid)
Director of Photography
Layout Director
Director of Advertising
Applications are on our website, and are due no later than 5 PM on May 25th, 2007. Please keep in mind that while we love art photographers, you must have a handle on digital photography in order to be the director of photography. It’s a digital age, magazines are made on computers, and that’s just the way it is.
And if you’re interested in getting involved in our final issue—whether you be into graphic design, illustration, layout, writing or photographing– e-mail Sara the editor (myself) at ovoice@uoregon.edu as soon as humanly possible.
We hope to see you at the Campbell Club on April 20.
Sara, Reigning Queen Supreme
How’s it going, Voice readers?
Our website has now been taken over by Chris Olson, who’s decided to save us all from my minimal web-building skills and be our webmaster so that this nary-updated website could get a much-appreciated makeover. Thanks Chris. As for the rest of us, we’ve printed our second-and-third mega-combo issue, which is available for perusal on this website and in our boxes in and around the University of Oregon campus. It’s the one with the yellow cover. Watch out for issue 4, which will contain an interview with Greg Saunier of Deerhoof, among other fun goodies. We’re also in the process of setting up a dance party fundraiser to be held the weekend of April 6 and 7 with some of your favorite local bands. When we’ve nailed down a date and a line-up, it will be here. Check back for more details.
Your fearless editor,
Sara
Some of Oregon Voice Art Director Evan Meister’s artwork is on display this month up in Portland, starting October 5th at Floating World Comics so if you are in the area, check it out
Floating World Comics
1722 NW Raleigh #104
Portland, OR 97209
Evan did all of the cover’s last year, in addition to a lot of cool illustrations on the insides of those issues, so if you aren’t familiar, go to the “Archives” and check out Volume XVII. He is still the Art Director, so you’ll be seeing more of his work in the magazine this year.
