Over the past five years, the irreverent tandem Tim and Eric have cemented their status as the most polarizing force in viral comedy. If anyone tells you this duo’s humor is something that grows on you over time, they are full of shit. You either love these two and wholeheartedly embrace the bizarre universe they’ve carved in the annals of late-night comedy, or you think they are abrasive, talentless, and disgusting. Either way, fan and hater can agree on one thing: Tim and Eric are the death of comedy. It is the interpretation of that notion which creates the division among viewers.

To quote a good-humored friend of mine who happens to not like Tim and Eric: “They satirize things that don’t warrant satire.” This is true. Tim and Eric aren’t mocking popular culture, but instead mock the idiots in show business who abuse popular aesthetic and repackage it to the unquestioning consumer. They are obsessed with infomercials and unprofessionalism in general. While a typical comedian might skewer the latest shit-sandwich Johnny Depp film, Tim and Eric are more inclined to showcase the Johnny Depp impersonator who hasn’t a sliver of acting ability.

You can probably tell I am a diehard Tim and Eric fan, and while saddened by the end of their five-season ADHD sketch series “Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job” on Adult Swim, I was ecstatic to hear about their production of “Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie.” It was only a matter of time before these two took their well-layered “Go fuck yourself, Hollywood” formula and dished it out in cinematic form. It is the perfect irony that these two ingeniously insincere auteurs actually had to collaborate with the studio system to produce a feature-length film.

As for the film itself: I was blown away, and can’t help but laugh to myself in class whenever I think about it. For my fellow chippies: do not expect a 90-minute episode of ‘Awesome Show,’ but instead something slightly different, but familiar enough. In some ways, T&E fans might have to unlearn some of their favorite facets of the universe of the TV show: it was especially hard for me to see John C. Reilly not playing fan-favorite Dr. Steve Brule, but his new character, Taquito, fits perfectly with what this film is trying to do. Reilly’s character is a nightmarish fusion of Chunk from the Goonies and Dickens’ Tiny Tim with some added sprinkles of severe mental retardation and malnutrition. It’s pure gold.

The story itself is a gnarly platter of rotting cheese, but it hurts so good. Tim and Eric, playing themselves, are in debt to studio bigwigs after the release of a their high budget, box-office disaster (foreshadowing?). The two flee Hollywood and decide to take over a run-down shopping mall. I couldn’t possibly explain what happens next, but let’s just say that it is the most aggressively satirical onslaught of the buddy comedy I have ever encountered. All the usual 90-minute storyline elements are there: prospects seem good initially, a romance triangle ensues, and of course the showdown with the villains at the climax. But it is the treatment of this vomit-inducing familiar narrative pattern that is unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed. The love scene outdoes what Trey Parker and Matt Stone showed us in Team America: World Police.

So I’m sorry, I don’t think this film review has been helpful up to this point.

Should I see this movie?

Abso Lutely!

Is it good, or is it bad?

It’s Tim and Eric.

“Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie” is available on-demand through iTunes, YouTube, Comcast and lots of other online sites. Check it out!

photos COLETTE LEVESQUE

RENNIE’S LANDING
words NOAH DEWITT

By a twist of fate, the first bar of our journey, Rennie’s Landing, happened to be hosting a release party for our rivals, Ethos Magazine, the sore losers of last year’s OV vs. Ethos Dance Off. I decided to wear my dancing shoes just in case things got out of hand. But with an expansive upstairs, two full bars, and ample outdoor seating, there proved to be enough room for both magazines. While the Ethos bunch networked amongst themselves, we Voice Dawgs knocked back draft pints of stout, PBRs, and whiskey gingers in the cozy yellow comfort of the tavern’s upstairs. If you’re looking to unwind after an un-fun day of classes, but aren’t in the mood to get hit on at Taylor’s or Max’s, Rennie’s is a safe bet.

MAX’S
words NOAH PORTER

Fabled to be the real-world inspiration for the Springfield home-away-from-home that is Moe’s Tavern, Max’s serves as the end-of-the-night watering hole for many of the university’s date rapists and popcorn enthusiasts. Pretzel and peanut fans may also find themselves amongst good company here. Really, the snacks are all that this bar has going for it. PBRs are $2.75 (bonus). The closing-time table dancing would be cool if the playlist wasn’t limited to over-exhausted Motown hits and jock jams. But… it’s hard to resist Max’s drunken charm when the whole bar is singing “Piano Man.” Ironically, there usually is an old man sitting next to you making love to his tonic and gin at Max’s. And he will stare at you.

DIABLO’S DOWNTOWN LOUNGE
words PARKER MULLINS

The post-Max’s decision for the crawl’s next boozing station was a wildcard. The upstairs portion presents the opportunity to hang out in perhaps the largest covered back patio in the Eugene circuit. Yeah, bigger than Roma. In general, it’s more desirable as well seeing as you can smoke cigarettes and get heavily intoxicated without having to worry about pastry bakers kicking out your drunk ass. However, the upstairs portion is nothing compared to the seedy dance scene underworld that lies beneath. Diablo’s, in the basement, offered to the Voice a beautiful display of $3.50 LIIT’s, booties in motion, and more heavy-duty beam equipment than a strip-mall Lazer Tag chain. This stop remained my favorite throughout the night, leaving subsequent bars feeling like a slow trek through an MDMA comedown.

HORSEHEAD
words COLETTE LEVESQUE

There are only two ways to attend Horsehead. The first is at the beginning of your night, when a cheap, precious Blue Ribbon or a simple well drink sounds sufficient. This should be relaxing if you’ve beaten the rush. The other way to attend Horsehead – and my personal favorite – is totally wasted at the end of the night, when you have zero cares to give and are in dire need of super dank fries, of either the French or Freedom variety, at a reasonable price. Lost in the Barmuda Triangle and nearing the end of an epic night, the OV staffers and I devoured somewhere between three and 10 baskets. From what I can remember, I took a bite of those savory fries and proceeded to ponder if the feeling in my gut was more comparable to love making or to winning the lottery. I settled on it being just about equivalent to the Immaculate Conception. That said, I would not suggest Horsehead half-way through your night when you are a little tipsy and all you really want to do is dance your heart out while avoiding pool-playing douche bags.

JOHN HENRY’S
words Margaret Appel

John Henry’s began in 1992, and it went strong for several years with an 80’s night that just wouldn’t quit. However, it would seem that that the clientele occupying the bar in 1992 haven’t really moved on, increasing sleaziness levels and therefore decreasing overall desirability. But if you and your gang have the right attitude and not a trace of sobriety (seriously), I would certainly recommend stumbling in on a Thursday ‘80s night, even if only to laugh at the freaks. The checkerboard dance floor is inviting, although the stage appears to be reserved for recent divorcees. For some reason there are fixed-gear bikes hanging above the bar, perhaps a desperate attempt to attract customers who are in good enough shape to even ride a bike, but really they’re just a decorative mystery. Henry’s usually has cheap well drinks and PBR, but perhaps this is because they’re making money off of the $3 cover charge that always seems to be happening. Overall, this bar is just really gross, there’s no denying that — but somewhere in the sea of camel toes and strange powders circulating around John Henry’s, there is a lingering charm that not even the sweatiest creeps can destroy.

Don’t miss this opportunity for Oregon Voice to crush the competition.

It’s been a while since I posted a new article, in fact, almost two weeks. So to correct the mistake I made of missing a week, I’ve decided that instead of just reviewing 3 trailers, I’m going to review 6. That’s right, 6.

But enough of the small talk, let’s get right to the trailers.

How Trailer Park works is simple, I give the embedded Youtube video of the trailer showcased for you all to watch and then at the bottom of the video, I display my opinion and then give it a rating based on our unique top of the line rating system:

Clean – A rating of Clean means this movie looks like a must see and you should definately give it a watch once it comes to theaters.

Decent – A rating of Decent means this movie looks okay, but it’s still a little sketchy and I recommend you wait for the reviews to come out before you pay for your ticket.

Dirty – A rating of Dirty, much like a trailer park itself means this movie looks absolutely horrid or is not interesting at all and I recommend you stay away from it.

Be warned, this is my opinion and my opinion only, do not criticize me if I bash a movie that you think looks promising.

So buckle up your seatbelts, break out the 6-pack and get yourself settled, your now entering the Trailer Park!:

#1 The Wolfman

Response: I know Halloween is coming up and I could’ve saved this one for the week of Halloween but this was too good of a trailer not to show. I mean, wow. Way to start this article with a vaccine of adrenaline. This is a remake of the classic 1930′s horror classic of the same name from Universal Pictures and quite frankly, this is one of those movies that looks like it will be entirely faithful to the material. However, that’s not the only thing that’s likely to sell this picture, oh no. Universal has gone all the way and included an absolutely amazing cast of actors from Anthony Hopkins & Emily Blunt to Hugo Weaving and Benecio Del Toro as the Wolfman itself. Oh and here’s a little fun fact for you, the voice of the Wolfman’s howl will be none other than Gene Simmons of KISS. If that doesn’t want to make you line up already, then maybe your the one that should be barking at the moon.

RATING: CLEAN

#2 Edge of Darkness

Response: That’s right, Mel Gibson is back, this time as a former detective trying to get revenge on the man who shot his daughter. Despite the cliche plot, this movie looks pretty interesting. I’m not familiar with any of the cast of this movie besides Mr. Gibson, so it’s really hard to give an opinion to this movie, the action looks great and this movie definitely raises a lot of questions about the plot. However, like I said previously, it’s really difficult to give an interpretation or opinion to this, it’s not bad, but it’s not something that captivates me to see it, if you are a fan of Mel Gibson and if you’ve been waiting for his return to the acting roots then I say give it a go, if your not one of those people, then just pass it.

RATING: DECENT

#3 The Spy Next Door

Response:Much like Jackie Chan in this movie, I have to face with my toughest assignment yet, trying to figure out what looks good about this movie. This movie looks absolutely terrible in every sense and meaning of the word, I cannot begin to describe how sorry I feel that Jackie Chan, who is known as one of the greatest martial arts actors of all time is being reduced to having to do movies with George Lopez and Billy Ray Cyrus. However, another thing I like to point out is that this movie is a complete rip off of another movie called “The Pacifier” with Vin Diesel, right down to the “Secret Agent” plotline. I’ve never been really fair to movies directed to kids, but even this movie looks like it will make kids squirm in their seats.

RATING: DIRTY

#4 Dear John

Response: Dear John, please stop acting. Yours truly, Derek Donovan. While that may seem harsh to many of you, I have a reason behind this poorly constructed response. Channing Tatum is not a good actor, never has and never will be. All his characters are nothing more than bland and generic with no substance whatsoever. Mr. Tatum is nothing more than just a cardboard pin-up brought to life to encourage young teen girls to pay $8.50. With that out of the way, I have to say that not only is Mr. Tatum more wooden than a load of firewood, but there is absolutely no chemistry or aura around these two main characters at all. I also hate to see that a talented and gifted actor like Richard Jenkins has to waste his time with this hormonal teenage mess.

Rating: DIRTY

#5 The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Response: To clear my conscious fellow internet readers, I have something to get off my chest. Yes, I’ve read the first Twilight book and no I didn’t like it. It was just about one of the most bland, stupid and utterly boring novels I’ve ever read in my life. No more than just hype over the whole “Vampire” scene. However, because I know some of you have been wanting me to do this review, I will answer the call. To make myself clear once more, I’ve also seen the first movie and I have to say… it wasn’t bad. Not good, but not terrible either, although there were a few book to film translation errors, it was still pretty entertaining. By the looks of this movie, I think you have a better chance of putting a rufee in my drink and banging my head with a hammer just to get me to see this. Edward Cullen is possibly one of the most confused and conflicted characters in all of modern literature. No matter how many times he says “This is the last time you will see me” you know that this character changes his mind about Bella so much that he will probably see her again in the next 5 seconds! Talk about being predictable in every sense of the word. You may have swindled me into seeing the first movie Hollywood, but don’t think that you’ll drag me to see this one because your better off making a remake of Predator… Looks like I spoke too soon.

RATING: DIRTY

#6 Shutter Island

Response: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Shutter Island. From the looks of this film you may think this is another one of those generic Scorsece/Dicaprio collaborations that are more frequent than Edward Cullen’s indecisiveness (Okay, last time I swear). However, this trailer is absolutely mindblowing. Inspired by a book of the same name, this movie looks to be another masterpiece for Mr. Scorsece, with chills and thrills to make your spine pop right out of your back. I’ll be taking a trip to Shutter Island opening night.

RATING: CLEAN

Due to the amount of trailers I reviewed tonight, I decided there will be no RV to showcase this time around, but Halloween is just around the corner and you know that you’ll just want to take another visit to the Trailer Park… If you dare.

Of course, the Emerald headline is in need of correction.

In fact, 4/5 of the band were in attendance at the house party, along with DJ E603 and members of their crew. But whether or not it was Nate solo or with his comrades is irrelevant (Save for, you know, being accurate with headlines.) What matters is that the fine students at the University of Oregon didn’t get completely short-changed. The infectious tunes, loops and beats Nate delivered certainly highlighted an otherwise dark and dreary Eugene night.

Check this video:

Nate Donmoyer from Passion Pit from Ivar Vong on Vimeo.

Unlike the embedded video courtesy of Ivar at the Emerald suggests, the impromptu party was most certainly off-le-hook and came to a head in the early morning hours when swarms of police officers arrived to disperse the near 250+ people that packed the 12th and Washington basement.

The house received a $750 noise violation. No MIPs or furnishing citations were given.

If you’d like to help us help the inhabitants of the house with the now monetary woes, please feel free to send donations to: Oregon Voice, 1228 Erb Memorial Union, University of Oregon, Eugene, OR 97401.