Fast-forward about three months to Patterson and 13^th, on a normal Thursday afternoon. The sun was shining outside, but I made the choice to leave the sunny lawn in front of the EMU to embark in one of the most bizarre hour and twenty-five minutes of my life. I gave up sunshine for a chance to see A Town Called Panic at the Bijou Theater.

Here’s a loose plotline: Based off of an older kids “TV show” (I say this in quotes because it wasn’t exactly a full show, but rather a group of small clips), A Town Called Panic follows the lives of Cowboy (played by a gumball-machine cowboy figurine), Indian (an Indian figurine) and Horse (a horse figurine) as they live in this insane town. In the movie, Cowboy and Indian decide to build Horse a barbeque for his birthday, but instead of ordering the 50 bricks they need to build it, they accidentally order 50,000,000. Even though the party goes well, the bricks destroy the house and (practically) the rest of town. Horse, pissed about the whole event, gets Cowboy and Indian to rebuild their beloved house only to find that, after they fall asleep every night, weird water creatures are stealing their walls. So the rest of the movie is spent trying to get their walls back from the insane water creatures. Yes, this is the plotline. No, I’m not insane.

Annnnd here’s the preview:

Now I know you’re probably thinking I’m crazy for spending my time to see this movie, but to be completely honest: this was the best movie I’ve seen the whole year! It’s ridiculous, it’s nut-job insane, and it’s fantastic!

But I’ve been thinking… Stop-motion animation is really beginning to turn around again: late last year we had Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009), the classic story book retold by indie movie god Wes Anderson, and shows like “Robot Chicken” (on late at night on [adult swim]) are becoming more and more popular.

However, people tend to take this style of animation as a crazy person’s nightmares. And in a way that’s true. I mean, there are COUNTLESS numbers of terrifying claymations that just irk you in a creeptastic way.

When I hear people say this, however, I like to remind them of all the TV shows they enjoyed when they were kids. After all, back in the 90s, stop-motion animation was in practically every popular cartoon!

So, with this, I’d like to count down to my TOP FIVE favorite stop-motion animated kids’ shows! NOW WITH CLIPS!!

5. A Town Called Panic!

Now this, I realize, is a new addition to the list for (probably) everyone, but I think it deserves to be on this list. As I said before, the whole thing is made with plastic toys and consists of 5-minute shorts involving a variety of odd characters.

The show’s humor is a little strange, specifically because it is based out of Luxembourg, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious!

I mean, come on! They get chased around by a freaking bear! Randomly! Great television is based off of this randomness.

Here’s, quite possibly, my favorite episode… which features my favorite character (Cowboy):

The humor is slightly dry, and the whole scheme of characters is a bit strange, but it still pertains my list at number 5.

4. KABLAAAAAM!

Now, the second you read this, most of you will probably have a nostalgic moment. After all, this TV show is one of those fun cartoons from the 90s that everyone seems to love and worship (including me!!).

But one of the most fun parts about this show is the concept that it takes what kids loved best and know and transfers it onto the screen.

I will forever love “Action League Now!!” which is one of the many stop-motion animated cartoons featured on the show. The premise of these 5-minute clips is that a league of bizarro superheroes (The Flesh, Thunder Girl, Stinky Diver, Meltman…) fought crime in a dangerous world. But it is all made with toys and action figures, and it looks like a kid was playing and putting them through these situations, much like a kid plays with Barbies or GI Joes. It’s stupid, but it’s hilarious!

In addition to this monstrosity of amazingness, the show features two other stop motion animated cartoons nearly every episode: “Prometheus and Bob” (the story of an Alien trying to teach random things to a caveman, except constantly getting foiled by a monkey) and “Life With Loopy” (the messed-up, crazy life of a young girl named loopy, told in the perspective of her brother).

“Prometheus and Bob” is just old school claymation (as seen below), but “Life With Loopy” takes an interesting turn by using a combination of drawings and clay. It’s awesome. Seriously.

Kablam! is one of the best 90s cartoons, and it really opens up this peculiar type of animation to mainstream audiences.

3. Bump In The Night

Okay, so this show may not be familiar to most of you, but goodness do I remember it!

Airing on ABC Saturday Mornings back in like 1994, this freaky-ass cartoon follows a green monster named Mr. Bumpy as he and his pals eat socks and terrorize the kid living in their room. “Terrorize” is probably the best word to describe this show!

I recently found a bunch of these episodes online (and surprisingly on DVD, too!) a few years back and, after watching them I realize now why I’m a little crazy. This show, while totally original, is like the mind of a really fucked-up teenager. I mean, Mr. Bumpy himself looks like he walked out of some freaky nightmare I might’ve had!

The weirdest part, however, is that this show is still enjoyable! The humor rocks, the animation (however much of a mind trip it is) also rocks, and overall it’s really cool (ignoring all of the sexual inuendos). It’s definitely something that I still enjoy, but I’m still shocked that I watched it as a kid!

It screams 90s, but pinch me if this isn’t a nightmare!!

2. Wallace And Gromit

Now this one is kind of a given, which is why it needs to be on the list.

Wallace and Gromit, for those of you who don’t know, is probably the second most famous example of stop-motion animation (after number 1 on this list), and has lived on through years and years of love and affection (in both Britain and America). The movies and clips follow a middle-age inventor and his loyal (and often reasonable) dog as they go to the moon, solve mysteries, and even defeat a giant “were-rabbit”!

These series of films started off with a basic, 30-minute short film about Wallace and Gromit going to the moon to find cheese. Now, about 20 years later, they have proven to be commercially successful: 2 of their 4 short films have won academy awards, a movie was made to further please kids in audiences around the globe, and they even have a video game! Wallace and Gromit is just too much fun.

I’ve been a fan since I was a child, and even though the humor is a little dated (and a bit bizarre, considering the fact that it comes from Britain) it still brings me joy to watch the shorts and even the movie (which I have with me here in my dorm room… yes I’m aware that it was made for little kids…). Besides the blatantly obvious sexual overtones in the movie (“What nice melons!”), the shorts remain fairly kid-friendly, and just too damn adorable.

Here’s a short short called “Shopper 13” (from their “Cracking Contraptions” series):

If that doesn’t make you smile, then what will?

Aardman is continuing to fund more Wallace and Gromit cartoons, but the company is also responsible for some of the best, stop-motion animated cartoons of the past 20 years: Chicken Run (2000), “Shaun The Sheep,” “Creature Comforts,” Flushed Away (2007), and even “A Town Called Panic.”

AND FINALLY, we come to the last pick, the master of insane kids animated series:

1. Gumby!

“He was once a little green slab of clay… GUMBY! You should see what Gumby can do today… GUMBY! He can walk into any book, with his pony pal Pokey, too. If you have a heart then Gumby’s a part of you *Doo doo doo doo doo doooooo*!!”

Yes. The mother of all WTF cartoons. Gumby.

Art Clokey, probably in some, crazed, drug-related… I don’t even know what…, came up with this little “clay boy” back in the early 50s. Those were the days! Gumby and his family would explore toy-land in grand detail, often stealing other toys or helping creepy-ass creatures find their true home. Yes, this was Gumby, the most epically awesome claymation features.

Gumby evolved over the years, as the generations became more and more “hip.” Clokey gave him a sidekick (Pokey, who was often the stubborn ass), and gave Gumby the ability to go inside of books. As the years went on, Toy-land was no longer an interest, so out with the old and in with the city-life of young Gumby. Now, he acted like a teenager: full of responsibility, while remaining naïve and curious. Then came his arch-nemesis’ “The Blockheads,” who said nothing but never failed to epically screw up any situation Gumby planned. Then came Prickle, the bitchy, yellow dinosaur, and what appeared to be Prickle’s girlfriend Goo, which was like a blue teardrop that could fly and shoot blue goo all over anything.

Gumby wasn’t what it used to be, and in fact it disappeared out of society for quite some time. Then, all of a sudden, the 80s arrived, and with it arrived a whole new, modern Green clay boy. Now, he was a detective and a rock star, all the while trying to keep his teenage self in line. There were creepy-ass people involved now (things that should probably hang out with Mr. Bumpy), and a spinoff movie (that’s rated one of the worst movies ever). It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t fantastic either.

Nickelodeon picked up Gumby and began to show older episodes from the 50s and 60s, which really helped us regain the dignity of watching GOOD episodes of the show. However, Gumby still lives in my heart, which, I guess, means he’s a part of me…?

PS: Is it just me or is it a little creepy that he apparently lives in your heart? Ewww

So there you have it. The best (and freakiest) stop-motion animated kids shows. There are so many others to choose from, but these stand out above the rest.

Looking back now, I realize why I’m so “weird.” Why did my parents let me watch this stuff? I guess we’ll never know.

Tell me, what are YOUR favorite stop-motion animations?

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Their style is funky fresh, and they have almost a British-feel to their music that speaks to the indie crowds. If you’re in the area and wanna check out some awesomeness, stop by the McDonald Theater to check out Spoon. At least I know I’ll be there!

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With just one day before Gorillaz’s new CD Plastic Beach hits stores nationwide, I’ve been going back and reminiscing on this band’s wonderfully crafted music (and videos). We all know “Clint Eastwood” (I ain’t happy/I’m feelin’ glad/I’ve got sunshine/in a bag…) and “Feel Good Inc.” (Windmill, Windmill for the land/turn forever hand in hand…). But Gorillaz is not just a band… it is, in my opinion, one of the most creatively genius works of art in the history of music.

Created by former lead singer of Blur Damon Albarn and “Tank Girl” creator Jamie Hewlett, the band is composed of cartoon characters (2D, Murdoc, Russel, and Noodle), each with back stories and interesting facts. In 2001, their first CD (self-titled Gorillaz) rocked the charts as a combination of hip-hop, rap, and electronic, with hits like the aforementioned “Clint Eastwood” (featuring Del The Funky Homosapien, who plays a minor character in the band’s back story), slow, urban track “Tomorrow Comes Today,” and feeling-good pop song “19-2000.” The second CD, Demon Days (2005), was a major success for the band, bringing in many celebrity guests to rap, sing, and even read for the tracks (De La Soul, Bootie Brown, MF Doom, Shaun Ryder, Dennis Hopper, and Danger Mouse, who helped produce the CD). “Feel Good Inc.” hit the charts and quickly rated higher than any of their other hits, soon followed by children-anthem “Dirty Harry,” solemn “El Mañana,” and dance-worthy “DARE.” Now, 5 years later, Gorillaz has collaborated once again with Plastic Beach. Unfortunately, the only songs I’ve heard (so far) are “Stylo,” which is the first single off the new CD, featuring Mos Def and Bobby Womack, and “Superfast Jellyfish,” featuring De La Soul once more.

The music is really original in that it mixes different genres together to create a new type of sound. From “19-2000,” which uses techno, hip-hop, and reggae to sound like a bubblegum pop song, to “Don’t Get Lost In Heaven” paired with “Demon Days,” which uses a full string orchestra, choir, hip-hop, and reggae to sound epic and gorgeous, the band reinvents the world of urban music.

However, what makes them so interesting is the story behind the band, how they advertise themselves, and their use of advanced technology to create a fully-animated band.

Back in 2006, the “band” put out an autobiography called Rise of the Ogre, which not only chronicled the band’s successful music career but also the band members’ lives and personalities in and out of the band. For example, we find out that 2D has black eyes because Murdoc ran him over in a car, which dented one of his eyes, and was catapulted out of the dashboard window, causing his other eye to be pushed in as well. We learn the truth about Noodle, that she is really a secret Japanese government weapon, triggered by the words “ocean bacon.” We find out that the ghost of Del The Funky Homosapien was contained inside of Russel, and Russel had it exorcised out of his body before working on “Demon Days.” We learn about Murdoc’s obsession with being a Satanist and how he nearly killed a member of the band in one of the videos.

I mean, sure, this may not sound like a lot. But considering that this is all made up to coincide with a few CDs, that’s pretty incredible!

But that’s not all… to create this image of a fully-animated band, high tech equipment have made it possible for people to really feel like the members of Gorillaz are actually real. For the 2006 Grammys, the band performed a mash up of “Feel Good Inc.” and Madonna’s hit for the year “Hung Up” live. But, because of the band’s animated appearances, a holographic projection unit was set up on stage, allowing for the band members to look as if they were standing on stage in real life. Madonna was also holographically projected for the first part of her act, as she moves around the characters to interact with them. This is one of the first, and greatest, technical feats ever for a band to make.

Also, because of their animations, the band RARELY plays live shows (in fact, the only one they have lined up so far for their new CD is Coachella 2010). So, of course, each of their live shows out-does the other. The Demon Days tour included panels of changing colors, hiding the live band from the public, while the “guests” were on stage in front, brightly lit. On a large screen in the middle, pictures and video played to help visually attract the audience. Simplistic, but incredibly creative.

Personally my favorite part of the band’s creativity is what they put into their website. To help promote their band and to get their fans psyched about the band itself, they launched an interactive game on their website to explore the confines of their home Kong Studios. With the coming of each CD and hit came an update to the website… and as the lives and appearance of each character changed, the studio reflected it. For example, in the video for “El Mañana,” Noodle supposedly died at the end of the video (it was later revealed that she had not died, but was instead dragged into hell). After the video landed, Noodle’s room in the virtual world was stripped and began to fall apart every month. As the truth came out that she was actually trapped in hell, the basement of the website’s virtual Kong had a transmission of Noodle in a room, exclaiming that she needed help. Soon after the announcement of Plastic Beach, Kong was in ruins, with none of the rooms available. Thus, Plastic Beach was born: the newest interactive online game allows you to tour Plastic Beach, with new rooms opening pretty much every month. The website has won Webby awards for its creativity, and it keeps people interested and attached to the “secret” lives of the band. If you’re interested, go to the website!

So yes, Gorillaz has great music, but it goes beyond that. I mean think of it this way: 2 guys created a FAKE band with FAKE names and FAKE backgrounds… they used incredible technical equipment to make these FAKE characters REAL, and even set up strange situations for said FAKE characters (as in their Plastic Beach website). Gorillaz is no ordinary band. It is a work of creative genius. And, as Plastic Beach approaches, to quote one of my favorite Gorillaz songs, “Yeah, yeah, yeah I’ll pay/When tomorrow/Tomorrow comes today!”

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Pitchfork has released an article announcing that Andrew WK and one of my personal favorite hip-hop groups, People Under the Stairs, have collaborated and created a new variation of Danny Elfman’s Simpson’s theme song. It will air in the end credits on January 16th’s all new episode. Will you check it out? I know I will.

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It’s been a while since I posted a new article, in fact, almost two weeks. So to correct the mistake I made of missing a week, I’ve decided that instead of just reviewing 3 trailers, I’m going to review 6. That’s right, 6.

But enough of the small talk, let’s get right to the trailers.

How Trailer Park works is simple, I give the embedded Youtube video of the trailer showcased for you all to watch and then at the bottom of the video, I display my opinion and then give it a rating based on our unique top of the line rating system:

Clean – A rating of Clean means this movie looks like a must see and you should definately give it a watch once it comes to theaters.

Decent – A rating of Decent means this movie looks okay, but it’s still a little sketchy and I recommend you wait for the reviews to come out before you pay for your ticket.

Dirty – A rating of Dirty, much like a trailer park itself means this movie looks absolutely horrid or is not interesting at all and I recommend you stay away from it.

Be warned, this is my opinion and my opinion only, do not criticize me if I bash a movie that you think looks promising.

So buckle up your seatbelts, break out the 6-pack and get yourself settled, your now entering the Trailer Park!:

#1 The Wolfman

Response: I know Halloween is coming up and I could’ve saved this one for the week of Halloween but this was too good of a trailer not to show. I mean, wow. Way to start this article with a vaccine of adrenaline. This is a remake of the classic 1930’s horror classic of the same name from Universal Pictures and quite frankly, this is one of those movies that looks like it will be entirely faithful to the material. However, that’s not the only thing that’s likely to sell this picture, oh no. Universal has gone all the way and included an absolutely amazing cast of actors from Anthony Hopkins & Emily Blunt to Hugo Weaving and Benecio Del Toro as the Wolfman itself. Oh and here’s a little fun fact for you, the voice of the Wolfman’s howl will be none other than Gene Simmons of KISS. If that doesn’t want to make you line up already, then maybe your the one that should be barking at the moon.

RATING: CLEAN

#2 Edge of Darkness

Response: That’s right, Mel Gibson is back, this time as a former detective trying to get revenge on the man who shot his daughter. Despite the cliche plot, this movie looks pretty interesting. I’m not familiar with any of the cast of this movie besides Mr. Gibson, so it’s really hard to give an opinion to this movie, the action looks great and this movie definitely raises a lot of questions about the plot. However, like I said previously, it’s really difficult to give an interpretation or opinion to this, it’s not bad, but it’s not something that captivates me to see it, if you are a fan of Mel Gibson and if you’ve been waiting for his return to the acting roots then I say give it a go, if your not one of those people, then just pass it.

RATING: DECENT

#3 The Spy Next Door

Response:Much like Jackie Chan in this movie, I have to face with my toughest assignment yet, trying to figure out what looks good about this movie. This movie looks absolutely terrible in every sense and meaning of the word, I cannot begin to describe how sorry I feel that Jackie Chan, who is known as one of the greatest martial arts actors of all time is being reduced to having to do movies with George Lopez and Billy Ray Cyrus. However, another thing I like to point out is that this movie is a complete rip off of another movie called “The Pacifier” with Vin Diesel, right down to the “Secret Agent” plotline. I’ve never been really fair to movies directed to kids, but even this movie looks like it will make kids squirm in their seats.

RATING: DIRTY

#4 Dear John

Response: Dear John, please stop acting. Yours truly, Derek Donovan. While that may seem harsh to many of you, I have a reason behind this poorly constructed response. Channing Tatum is not a good actor, never has and never will be. All his characters are nothing more than bland and generic with no substance whatsoever. Mr. Tatum is nothing more than just a cardboard pin-up brought to life to encourage young teen girls to pay $8.50. With that out of the way, I have to say that not only is Mr. Tatum more wooden than a load of firewood, but there is absolutely no chemistry or aura around these two main characters at all. I also hate to see that a talented and gifted actor like Richard Jenkins has to waste his time with this hormonal teenage mess.

Rating: DIRTY

#5 The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Response: To clear my conscious fellow internet readers, I have something to get off my chest. Yes, I’ve read the first Twilight book and no I didn’t like it. It was just about one of the most bland, stupid and utterly boring novels I’ve ever read in my life. No more than just hype over the whole “Vampire” scene. However, because I know some of you have been wanting me to do this review, I will answer the call. To make myself clear once more, I’ve also seen the first movie and I have to say… it wasn’t bad. Not good, but not terrible either, although there were a few book to film translation errors, it was still pretty entertaining. By the looks of this movie, I think you have a better chance of putting a rufee in my drink and banging my head with a hammer just to get me to see this. Edward Cullen is possibly one of the most confused and conflicted characters in all of modern literature. No matter how many times he says “This is the last time you will see me” you know that this character changes his mind about Bella so much that he will probably see her again in the next 5 seconds! Talk about being predictable in every sense of the word. You may have swindled me into seeing the first movie Hollywood, but don’t think that you’ll drag me to see this one because your better off making a remake of Predator… Looks like I spoke too soon.

RATING: DIRTY

#6 Shutter Island

Response: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Shutter Island. From the looks of this film you may think this is another one of those generic Scorsece/Dicaprio collaborations that are more frequent than Edward Cullen’s indecisiveness (Okay, last time I swear). However, this trailer is absolutely mindblowing. Inspired by a book of the same name, this movie looks to be another masterpiece for Mr. Scorsece, with chills and thrills to make your spine pop right out of your back. I’ll be taking a trip to Shutter Island opening night.

RATING: CLEAN

Due to the amount of trailers I reviewed tonight, I decided there will be no RV to showcase this time around, but Halloween is just around the corner and you know that you’ll just want to take another visit to the Trailer Park… If you dare.

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